what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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