She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
