thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
and you fell through a lawn chair
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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