i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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