ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
