If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
