I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you mean i was at the winter classic?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
He did a backflip because drugs
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize