I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
How's work?
Spinning.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
