First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
