so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
