Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
