wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
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why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
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How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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