He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
