I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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