Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
