Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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