He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
