When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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