when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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