So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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