So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
