I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
