i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
