The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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