Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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