dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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