im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
