dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
