Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
