if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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