Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You should frame my arrest warrant.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
