yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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