we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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