I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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