I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize