Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize