maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
