that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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