ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
