Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
