I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
