we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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