But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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