That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
