IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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