Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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