You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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