she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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