where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
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i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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