It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
