you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
