Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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