Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
