fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
