she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
