meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
