I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
