I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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