They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
